Five

I tried to start over.

Everything I had, everything I had become, was toxic.

The pressure broke me and I was unrecognizable.

I tried to hold onto the positives, people I loved, and

I tried to start over.

And I thought it worked.

I had beautiful relationships with wonderful people.

People were proud of me and I learned how to love and be loved.

I had lived for so long with a broken heart that we mended

And I thought it worked.

But I was still me.

So even though I loved, and I had everything I asked for,

I still woke up miserable and hopeless and angry inside.

I really thought that achieving my goals would make me happy

But I was still me.

So I ruined it.

I got upset that I didn't feel safe being my true self.

I got frustrated when life didn't go exactly as planned.

I thought the issue was that my environment was toxic

So I ruined it.

I'm really sorry.

I hid myself from everyone; you were never the problem.

All you ever tried to do was love unconditionally.

I was too self-conscious to share the truth. I know you're gone but

I'm really sorry.